Bumbling Around Near Maxcanu

We headed southeast on a highway going toward Maxcanu. Instead of entering Maxcanu, we turned off on a secondary road just beforehand and drove into another era. The road was one lane, just as all the State roads used to be, and just as before, when you encountered another vehicle, one of you had to pull off to the side and stop to let the other through. There wasn’t much traffic.

We turned down a minor road. A battered sign said “San Fernando” and the small village was adjacent to a ruined hacienda that is surely more stupendous in its current state than it ever could have been when it was new. There is so little of it left, that we were surprised to hear that the Owner, who lives in Merida, was trying to sell it.

shell of desfibradora (machine shop)

Some of the local residents had moved into corners of the hacienda wreckage, which is unusual because villagers usually avoid the haciendas. However, in this case, the owner was engaged in kicking them out, having them destroy the lean-tos they had built, apparently wanting the place to look more pristine.

Quite pristine

Perhaps the owner can picture the pool and gift shop here.

Lush seting beckons to the guest

In all fairness, there us an unusually small, deteriorating  Casa Principal a bit away from these structures. It is soundly locked. Perhaps it has a few intact rooms, but it is notably unnatractive.

Here is a part of the hacienda where an older woman lives.

Residence in ruined hacienda

This is one of those villages where it is hard to understand how anyone makes a living of any kind. I asked a woman whether there was a school there and she was vague. There is no medical facility – you have to go to Maxcanu. I’m trying to remember whether there were any vehicles in San Fernando. There are no stores, no businesses.

Further down this empty road was another, more contemporaray ruin, fenced off with barbed wire.

Another 15 minutes down this road we found a treasure of a village, which shall remain nameless. It was like the places we saw twenty-five years ago. People looked healthy and were smiling. There was a lot of pride in the houses, which some of the home-owners had made themselves. It’s amazing what a difference a few miles can make. I imagine it has a lot to do with ejidal laws and how they are bent, giving absentee “landlords” dominion over space that could be used to good advantage.

Neatly thatched home

At this point, the editing function of iPhoto has ground to a halt, but I am putting in un-edited pictures anyway. I think some, like the one below, look kind of cool.

When I started seeing some of the magnificently made pole and thatch houses, I almost screamed. They haven’t been making these new since forever. Since “the hurricane” when many were destroyed all over the peninsula, about 99% of these lovely buildings, which know how to breathe, to absorb wind, and to keep bodies venilated, were replaced by those abominable concrete block houses, which “the government” slapped together quickly to provide people with shelter. It is highly unusual to come across a community where these skills are still being practiced.

Beautiful work

 

Pole and thatch artistry

The boy in the picture below is Miguel. His grandfather, standing shyly in back of him, made these walls himself.

Miguel in his house

 

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Santa Cruz Hacienda

Patty and I stumbled on this lovely updated hacienda on the southern edge of Merida. (Palomeque) It isn’t quite as gussied up (over the top) as many of the other guest haciendas and has a more honest, genuine appearance.

The furniture is comfortable and the coffee is good. It has a fresher, more colorful feeling than most of the other hacienda hotels.

sideboard

The guest rooms (10) are in the Casa Principal. The place has two pools, a spa, and is geared toward relaxation and good food.

The owner, Caroline Arnaux, is a French woman from Guadeloupe. She and a master chef prepare the food. Every night they offer two prix fixee five-course dinners. We were there in the morning and I asked, just for the hell of it, whether they had any croissants. She apologized that she had yesterday’s and offered to heat it up. It was the real thing. Also, it was slightly singed, which meant it had been heated in an oven rather than a microwave.

From the look of it, the menu is more continental than one usually finds around here.

This woul be a good destination for Xmas eve or New Year’s eve. On both nights, they have special meals. Call ahead to 999-262-7439. I’m thinking about it. I have guests from the north and I think they would be thrilled.

Tiny Patty lost in dining room

Sisal

The Hacienda Sta. Cruz chapel is larger than most.

Chapel door

Inside the chapel

 

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Sobering 2012 Video

Go to American Egypt , a site about Chichen Itza, for this and other eerie animations of 2012 and the Pyramid of Kukulcan.

Posted in December 21, 2012 - End of the world?, General Blog, Merida Expat Life | Tagged | 5 Comments

Reviews of BG’s Book- 2012: Deadly Awakening

Review 1 – www.americanegypt.com, ej Albright

Review 2 – www.goodreads.com, Jane

Review 3 – Moon Publications blog, Josh Berman

 

1. October 28th, 2010 by ejalbright, American Egypt

2012: Deadly Awakenings

Ripped from the pages of the Maya calendar, 2012: Deadly Awakening is a mystery novel by Beryl Gorbman set in Yucatan during the apocalyptic date of December 21, 2012.

Beryl splits her time between Seattle and Merida, and writes a delightful (if not controversial) blog about her experiences on the Yucatan Peninsula called “Yucatan Yenta.” Now she’s turned her hand to fiction, and published the first of what should be a series of mystery novels about her new homeland. The only thing that will prevent her success is if the world ends when the Maya calendar runs out on Dec. 21, 2012. All the more reason to buy her book now.

Here’s a blurb about her book:

Hundreds of thousands of spiritual travelers have converged in Yucatan to witness the end of the Maya calendar. Some think that the world is about to end; others think humanity will evolve to a higher form of consciousness. Against the exotic backdrops of Chichen Itza and Merida, all things are possible.

Then, in the chaos of the night before the fateful date, the unthinkable happens. People die, and die very badly. New York investigator Miriam Glass teams up with Yucatecan police chief J.L. Contreras to solve the bizarre and dramatic murders.

There is a parade of colorful characters –- local and imported mystics, police, expats, prophets and charlatans –- to round out the plot of this well-researched murder mystery. It’s gory and fun!

The book explains the various theories on 12/21/2012 according Jose Arguelles, Daniel Pinchbeck, and others. A good read for an insight into what December 21, 2012, might bring.

You can buy 2012: Deadly Awakening from Amazon HERE. Or download it to your Amazon Kindle HERE.

COUNTDOWN TO 2012: Buy This Book, Before It’s Too Late!

——————

2. From Goodreads

Jane’s Reviews > 2012: Deadly Awakening

2012 by Beryl Gorbman
2012: Deadly Awakening
by Beryl Gorbman

Nophoto-f-50x66

Jane‘s review

Jun 01, 10
5 of 5 stars
Read in May, 2010 — I own a copy
I enjoyed reading this book. I found it is easy to read and exciting. I quickly was engrossed in the story and the characters. The ending was a big surprise; not at all what I had guessed would happen. When I came to the end of the book, I thought, “NO, I want more,” not out of disappointment but I hated to say goodbye to the characters that I had grown fond of. I hope there is a sequel as I want to hear more of Miriam and Police Chief Contreras.Great story set in Mérida , Yucatan , a place where every day is an adventure. I highly recommend this book. It is an eye-opener and takes you inside the hearts and minds of the people of Yucatán.I couldn’t put the book down even through the laptop I was reading it on was getting heavy. I don’t have a Kindle device but downloaded Kindle for PC to my laptop.
—————————————-
3. From Moon Publications

2012 Deadly Awakening: Crackling story set in Mérida and Chichen Itza

Username By Joshua | December 12th, 2011 | Comments No Comments

maya 2012 book travelI met writer Beryl Gorbman over a taco lunch in the Chichen Itza Salon in the conference center in Mérida, Mexico, and I admit, I was skeptical when she handed me a copy of her mystery novel, 2012 Deadly Awakening(Intelligent Life, 2010). I’d just completed a self-guided crash course on Maya studies, plowing through a pile of non-fiction books, most fairly fascinating, regarding 2012 and Maya time-keeping, but also fairly dry and dense. There are hundreds of such titles out there, but never had I seen a fictional treatment.

When I finally cracked open 2012 Deadly Awakening a few months later, I was drawn in and swept back to the Yucatan. “The scene in Merida is chaotic and tense,” reads the description. “People think that the world is about to end, as it is the end of the Maya long-count calendar. Other people think humanity will evolve to a higher form of consciousness. You wouldn’t think these are ideals people would kill to protect, but they do. Thousands of spiritual tourists have descended upon this once-peaceful city, creating chaos. People die, and die very badly.”

Enter a New York City detective and the plot starts thickening by the page. What I most enjoyed about Gorbman’s treatment of the subject is her ability to find a nice balance between fact and funny, as she presents an accurate picture of all the types of people interested in 2012, from scientists to loonies to scam artists and beyond. At the same time, she maintains a tongue-in-cheekness that captures the lighter side of all the hype.

More importantly, she does not forget the Maya themselves — something that happens all too often in stories about 2012 (see the movie by the same name) — nor delicate social problems presented by the presence of foreigners in the Maya region. For example, one Maya character grumbles, “This is what the Maya have come to, he thought, getting angrier and more depressed by the moment. Servants to fucking tourists who think our history is fascinating and that although we modern Maya are for shit, our ancestors long ago were incredible.”

2012 Deadly Awakening is a fun book. Period. The bonus is that is also teaches you about Mérida, Mexico, the people who live there, and some of the remarkable facts surrounding the Maya 2012 story. My only complaint is that the black and white images included in this self-published book do nothing to illustrate the action and even take away from the crackling prose. Warning: Reading this book might make you curious enough to book a flight to Mérida.

It also might make you want to read Gorbman’s sequel, called Madrugada, about the theft of sacred objects from an archaeological site. “The site,” she writes, “is isolated and when the archaeologists move in, their cultures and the culture of the villagers collide in odd ways….”

If you found 2012: Deadly Awakening, “Crackling story set in Mérida and Chichen Itza” useful or interesting, please share it with others by bookmarking it at any of the following sites:
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Moon Publications likes the Yenta’s 2012 book

Mundo Maya Blog

joshua-berman-uxmal.jpg
Joshua Berman

ABOUT THIS BLOG

Travelers to Mexico, Guatemala, Belize, and Honduras in 2012 can expect a yearlong celebration of Maya culture, past and present—and Moon Maya 2012 author Joshua Berman is blogging about all of it.

I first heard about Mérida from my colleagues, Liza Prado and Gary Chandler, authors of Moon Yucatan Peninsula. They raved about this sprawling city of a million (four hours west of Cancun) as a practical travel base — colonial color inside the city limits and converted 500-year-old haciendas in the countryside.

I finally got to visit and photograph Mérida last June and was definitely impressed. Moreover, the city gives immediate access to a number of worthy Maya archaeological sites, like Uxmal, the Puuc Route, and Dzibilchaltun. Mérida is the setting of Beryl Gorbman’s awesome thriller 2012: Deadly Awakening (the best fictional treatment of Maya 2012 I’ve read); it is home to museums, Maya eateries, and chocolate makers.

So it was a pleasure to find Elisabeth Malkin’s 36-hour tribute in today’s New York Times Sunday Travel Section. She calls Mérida “a languid city of pastel mansions and evening promenades” and goes on to outline a food-heavy three-day exploration. LINK->

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First Symposium of American Retirees and Mexican Government Representatives

National Forum on the North Ameican Retiree Community: Expectations and Options for Living In Mexico

by Beryl Gorbman

This past weekend, I was an invited delegate to a conference in Mexico City, along with 44 other American expats, who met with highly placed officials of the Mexican federal government and the American embassy to talk about issues of concern to American retirees here.

The conference was coordinated by an organization called International Community Foundation (ICF) and was handled beautifully by a Mexican PR firm. ICF has produced a number of studies about American retirees in Mexico, some with surprising conclusions and statistics, that had been made available to us before the conference. You can read these studies on their website. Their goal is to promote good works in Mexico through the philanthropy of American retirees.

Most of ICY’s focus to date has been on the western coastal communities of Mexico, but they were enthusiastic about having representation from other parts of the country.

There were people in our group who had accomplished some laudable civic endeavors. I was deeply impressed by Ted Rose and Susan Hill of Colima and their organization Project Amigo . Not only do they get American dentists and other caregivers to come down and treat people, but they provide scholarships for disadvantaged kids, and regularly send them to the USA to live with American families and attend school.

Ted Rose of Project Amigo – center. Susan Hill, second from left.

All the Americans and the organizers got together Thursday evening and talked about the meetings with the Mexican officials the following day. ICF suggested four major areas for our conversation focus:

  • How American retirees and the Mexican government can increase opportunities for local communities
  • How the Mexican government can help expats age in place
  • How the Mexican government can improve engagement in local communities (?)
  • How the American expat community can help improve the image of Mexico outside the country.

Initially, we were in an elegant meeting room, that looked like a medieval courtroom in a building next to the federal palace in the zocalo. We were joined by about 100 Mexicans from various organizations and a number of people from the newspapers and TV stations. (Most of the newspapers covered the meeting the next day.)

Meeting participants

Officials' podium

Mtra. Gloria Guevara Manzo, National Secretary of Tourism. To her right is Richard Kiy, President of ICF.

Ms. Guevara, surrounded by reporters

Other officials included  Lic. Nathan Wolf Lustbader, the director of the federal economic office of foreign relations (to the best of my translation abilities).

The room in the magnificent old building where the common sessions were held, was truly royal. Bishops’ chairs lined the walls and the carved wall in back of the speakers’ podium was a work of art.

back wall of podium

The general tone was that the Mexican government valued the financial and philanthropic contributions of the increasing numbers of American retirees and want to know what services we think we need to continue living in Mexico.

After the official presentations, we broke up into smaller groups and met with people from our own states – officials involved in tourism, foreign relations, and economic development. They were quite sincere in wanting to know what our concerns were about Mexico. The discusussions were genuine dialogues – questions and answers across the board, all done with a spirit of genuine interest and cooperation. It was an intelligent exchange, one that I enjoyed immensely. I felt we were clearly heard.

Some of the expats expressed fears of continued cartel violence and said that if it got worse, they would consider leaving Mexico. Some of us talked about the need for assisted living facilities for our ageing population, and access to good medical care.

Our discussion group, which inlcuded expats from Yucatan, Colima, San Miguel and Ajijic, was attended by about eight attentive government officials, including two from Yucatan, one from the State Tourism Board. We were carefully recorded and observed – they were really interested in what we had to say.

Since one of the stated goals of the conference was to attract more retirees to Mexico, I pointed out that the Tourism Board might consider producing new promotional materials that stressed the truly wonderful things about Mexico and not just the recreational and vacation opportunities.

Martha Lindley of Merida suggested that they consider planning assisted living facilities so that those of us who so desired could “age in place.” Howard Feldstein, from Ajijic, was concerned about the crime rate they were experiencing there – not narco crimes, but home invasions and robberies. The officials said they would look into heightened security.

Howard Feldstein from Ajijic

Some of these photos are from the cocktail hour and dinner we had the night before the conference. It was a great group.

Bob Bruneau, who nominated me for the conference, is an old and dear friend from Seattle. It was so good to see him after many years. He and his partner own a flower shop in Puerto Vallarta. He was my real estate broker years ago in Seattle.

As it turned out, Anne McEneny of ICF and I had been exchanging communications on and off for some time about some of my blog articles and I had published the link to their agency reports almost two years ago.

Bob Bruneau, Puerto Vallarta

Merida's own charming Martha Lindley

Delegates from Baja

You can spot an (ex) New Yorker anywhere.

Anne McEneny of ICF is in the center.

After the conference wound up with final speeches by officials at around 1:30, we went to Sanborns House of Tiles with Russ Mills of Puerto Vallarta. We were all quite pleased at the way the conference had gone. Speaking for myself, I don’t recall ever having been asked by a Mexican government representative what might make my life here more pleasant. I appreciated the opportunity and I thank them for listening to us and for having this conference.

 

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Mexico City’s Grand Zocalo

by Beryl Gorbman

The Templo Mayor ongoing excavation

Last weekend in Mexico City, I had an opportunity to hike through the entire Templo Mayor excavation project, the ancient Aztec buildings right in the main zocalo, just next to the grand cathedral. The archaeologists have removed a number of the old colonial buildings in the last thirty years, as the extent of the Plaza Mayor revealed itself, but I think they are done tearing things down and they are reconstructing what they have. These are the remains of the grand Aztec city of Tenochtichtlan, constructed in the 14th century.

An extensive and well-constructed wooden catwalk takes you, by twists and turn, through the entire site. I might mention that there are lots of up and down stairs that can wreak havoc on the knees of those of who are no longer young. That, combined with the thin air of Mexico City, suggests that you allow plenty of time to get through the site.

At every turn, you are treated to views of the ancient buildings juxtaposed with colonial splendor (the cathedral) or the more modern buildings of downtown Mexico City. Unlike our ruins in Yucatan, the Templo Mayor project is right in the middle of downtown and the contrasts are spectacular.

Of course when Hernan Cortes arrived in the 16th century, he did his best to level the old city and construct the grand colonial structures that are in today’s zocalo. These buildings include the government palace and the spectacular Metropolitan Cathedral of the Assumption of Mary. 

The reconstruction is an extraordinary project, exposing temples, sacrificial chambers, sewage systems, and residences. Just next to it is a spectacular museum containing objects from this site and others. For a single admission price, you can hike for hours – through the ruin and the four-story museum.

Spillway to carry "black water" out of Tenochtitlan (Where to, I wonder?)

Quetzalcoatl, I suppose

Tenochtitaln ruins against the colonial skyline

 

The Templo Mayor Museum

This large new museum in the ancient complex is a fascinating building. Although it is a dull sandy square from the outside, a lot of thought went into the indoor architecture, full of grand internal vistas, educational cubbyholes, good standard glassed-in displays, and best of all, huge structures standing here and there, designed to surprise you as you round a corner or step off of a staircase. I actually gasped when I suddenly encountered a massive god figure standing in my path as I got off the elevator.

 

Aside from the contents themselves, the thing I like best about this museum is its masterful lighting. The objects weren’t just illuminated, they were enhanced and made even more beautiful by the plays of light and shadows. I have a few pictures of some of these displays, but they do not do them justice.

I was so captivated, I didn't read the signage on this or any of the others.

Massive animal head

The god figures seem more literal than the Maya ones.

The Cathedral

The cathedral, which took over 250 years to complete, was one of Cortes’ first projects, which he had constructed directly on top of the old city. It is unbelievable to behold, the largest and oldest cathedral in the Americas.

Main entry to the grand cathedral

No matter how much of a heathen you are, you’d have to be made of ice not to feel the power and beauty of this place.

Main altar

Here’s a photo of the whole cathedral, courtesy of Wikipedia.

The general area 

We got around the area by what I call tuk-tuks. They are pedi-cabs with electric motors that supply 20% percent of the power.

Pedi-cabs with motorized assistance

If you’re looking for skilled workmen, they are set up in front of the cathedral.

Masons, plumbers, whatever you need...

This figure, located in a public building, defies explanation and I didn’t ask. My friend Bob said he was “hot.”

Who might this be?

We also saw the Palacio des Belles Artes, Alameda Park, and had lunch in the original Sanborns (House of Tiles.) Mexico City is endless fascination. I was there for only two days, with only a few hours to myself. I look forward to my next trip, but may need an oxygen tank.

 

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Pictures of the Week

Beryl Gorbman

Please feel free to use my photos, but I would appreciate it if you would credit them.

Seattle Krispy Kremers

Each guy is eating a full dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. Look at them! Who needs anti-depressants?

Krispy Kreme rules
Keith and Richard’s Garden

Capitol Hill Garden

Thanksgiving turkey, poor thing. 

Doomed turkey BEFORE

This turkey, raised by my brother in Seattle, weighed 42 lbs. dressed and unstuffed. At least my bro lost the nerve to slaughter him himself and took him to a butcher who quickly dispatched him for $10.

Turkey met doom.

As if he'd never lived...

One of the World’s Cuter Dogs

Curry Irvine-Geller

Face With a Thousand Stories

Thank you for letting me take your picture.

Black Friday, Northgate Mall, Seattle

Fashionable Thanksgiving OD

Houston Airport 12/27/11

Rocky and his person waiting for a flight

Home Sweet Home

 

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Police Brutality in the US

Beryl Gorbman

Generally, I’ve been a police fan. I like having them around. But thanks to the Occupy movement and other incidents, my feelings about the Seattle Police have changed.

Today, Richard Pauli sent me this YouTube video of an officer in California needlessly pepper spraying a group of silent, inert demonstrators – and the video goes on to righteously ridicule the officer. Here is the link.

http://youtu.be/2y_W2dwSfSQ

Since the US populace has been complacent since the early 70s, and there have been few public outcries about anything, I haven’t given much thought of the ability and proclivity of some officers to wantonly abuse power.  We (me included) have satisfied ourselves with writing piercingly clever editorials and letters, displaying our artful use of words on websites, and having intellectual discussions when social issues have raised our yuppie ire. Speaking for myself, a person who made noise and marched in the 60s, we have relaxed. Too much. Now, at last, a young, energetic mass of people have risen, as if from nowhere, furious with the outrageous status quo and not holding back their opinions, which have taken an active, visible form. Good for them and it’s about time.

The pepper spray video shows just how far behind the police are in dealing with spirited crowds. I imagine police training in recent decades has not included much emphasis on how to work with non-violent demonstrators. I hope that gets remedied very soon.

The mistreatment of the Occupy demonstrators all over the country has underlined a general  misuse of police power that should have shocked us (me) into action before this. In the last few years, in fact, Seattle Police have fatally shot so many civilians, that they are under federal investigation. The most apalling case was the fatal shooting of well-known Native American woodcarver John T. Williams, as he was walking downtown carving a piece of wood. Officer Ian Burke approached him from the rear, and from a distance of about twelve feet, shouted at Williams to drop the knife. Williams didn’t and Burke fired multiple shots, killing the elderly man.

John T. Williams (photos from Seattle Times)

The Seattle Times, 12/17/2010, reproduces the narrative from the Officer’s microphone/recorder.

Officer Birk: “Hey, Hey, Hey. Put the knife down, put the knife down, put the knife down.”

(Shots fired) Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

Officer Birk radios in: “Unit 33. Shots fired Boren and Howell. Subject wouldn’t drop the knife.”

Dispatcher: “Shots fired. Boren and Howell….”

Further radio transmissions can then be heard.

Then, a faint woman’s voice can be heard saying, “He didn’t do anything.”

Officer Birk can be heard saying “Ma’am, he had a knife and he wouldn’t drop it.”

The radio dispatcher asks for a status report.

Officer Birk answers, “Under control. Subject is down.”

Dispatcher: “Copy. Subject is down.”

When other officers arrive, Birk can be heard saying:

“He had the knife open. I approached him. I asked him to drop it multiple times. He wouldn’t drop it and he turned towards me.”

Other officers can then be heard talking among as they deal with the scene.

Then, in response to an officer asking if he’s ok, Birk says:

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

The officer asks “he just had a knife?”

Birk: “Yeah, he had it out. He was carving it up, carving up that board, with it open. I approached him, and the tool (?), I instructed him to drop it multiple times. He wouldn’t do it.”

Other officer: “Good job.”

Birk: “Yeah.”

The knife appears to be only three inches long, and I believe the illegal length for an open knife blade in public is six inches.

 

Furthermore, John T. Williams was as deaf as a post and did not hear the officer calling him.

Last week, the SPD pepper sprayed an 84 year-old woman who had come downtown on an errand and decided to join the demonstrations. I can’t imagine that Dorly Rainie was enough of a threat to warrant this treatment.

Dorly Rainey (photo from Seattle Times)

By the way, one of Dorly’s two rescuers was an Army sergeant named Caleb, who I had featured in an article about Occupy Seattle recently.

Here is an excerpt from an article called America Has Become a Facist Police State by a writer named Carl Gibson on Reader Supported News.

In the early years of public school, or in public addresses by politicians, America is touted as the Land of the Free, or the Land of Opportunity, or the Greatest Country on Earth. We’re taught from near-infancy that this country was founded on the right to say what you want, whenever, wherever, to whomever. We’re told we have the freedom to assemble peacefully, to petition our leaders for a redress of grievances. We’re taught that if you’re apprehended by the law, you have the right to a fair trial and legal representation.

Yet, today we live in a country where government aids the corporate takeover of elections. Here, banks who fraudulently took Americans’ homes for profit can get bailed out by the taxpayers, and use the money to pay themselves 12-figure bonuses. This is a country where even US citizens can be detained without due processtortured, and even assassinated overseas.

Today, in the Land of the Free, nonviolent political protesters using their First Amendment rights to speak out against all of the above can be beatentasered, and maced by heavily-militarized police forces, using military-grade equipment, without any provocation.

Here is the link to the entire article.

I’ve tended to think that writing like Gibson’s is extreme and that if you behave well and put one foot in front of the other, the system will protect and help you. I’m afraid one thing I’ve learned from the Occupy movement is that I am wrong about this and I find it terrifying.

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A Gentle Death

Beryl Gorbman

Merida, Yucatan

Yesterday I had the privilege of spending some time with a friend who was dying. I realize this sounds corny, but it was, for me, a profound experience.

Teetering on the brink of death is a sacred time for the dying person, no matter who they are, and for those who share it, it can be a sacred time too. It is an overwhelming concept that very soon, this human being will cease to exist. It is like distilling a whole life into a pinpoint of consciousness, and then releasing it.

My friend, who died this morning, was in her late 70s and she wasn’t well. She was in pain and her husband had died within the last year. She made a decision to stop eating and she just lay down in her bed and waited.

When I held her hand, I felt her deep despair and sorrow. She was weak, but her desire to die was strong. I was sorry she was leaving this way instead of on the pink cloud described in much of the literature, where people come to terms with death and are ready and accepting, and sort of float out into the tunnel of light with smiles on their faces.

None of the deaths I’ve witnessed have gone that way. They have all been sorrowful, or painful, or in one case, screaming angry.

We’re so tuned to extend our lives – lose weight, exercise, think positive, do yoga – that until you’re directly confronted with it, it’s hard to wrap your head around the fact and finality of physical death. To see a gentle death, to be involved in it, can give spiritual perspective to our view of things. An entire life extinguished.

People who are dying know that although we who remain are sorry and mournful of their passing, that soon we will get over it and they will be dim memories. That’s all that will be left of them. Dim memories, getting dimmer by the day.

Coming to terms with your own death probably means letting go of your concern about being forgotten. My friend who died today had come to those terms. Relatively few people were involved in her last days. She just wanted it to be over.

Courage takes many forms. Usually courage means striking out bravely and accomplishing something, standing in the face of danger. My friend’s courage was the opposite. What she had decided to do was NOT fight for her life, NOT try to stop death, but instead, to let nature take its course without interference.

It was her decision, to stop eating and not sustain herself. She felt she had accomplished everything she wanted to accomplish. She said good-by to her family and friends. She meticulously prepared her records and paperwork. Everything was in order.

We will miss her.

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